RedefiningSuccess
- Oct 1
- 3 min read
By Paige Arnof-Fenn
I started a global branding and digital marketing firm 24 years ago. For the first 5 years I was scared to go on vacation for fear all my hard work would unravel. Then my in-laws, father, mom and stepdad all started to get sick and I wanted to be there for them. They all lived thousands of miles away so I started to work less. After years of decline they each died about 8 months apart (7 people in 6 years) and I became executrix which is like having another job at times. So I had to take very good care of myself or I would not have been helpful to anyone else. I started working out every day. I started planning me time on my calendar. I became more comfortable with white space in my day and stopped over scheduling myself. And guess what? My business did not suffer, in fact it has become stronger. We moved up the food chain and have better clients. I do not think I could ever go back. I am so much happier and more productive as an entrepreneur than I ever was working for others. It is all about controlling your calendar. Even before the pandemic I no longer tried to squeeze in more meetings or hit multiple events at night. As an entrepreneur, I can be selective. Less really is more. I’ve chosen quality over quantity. It sounds trivial but it is true. I created a platform to do work I enjoy and feel energized by. I feel I have found my purpose because I used to work all the time and life was passing me by. I got raises and promotions but I was all work and no play and I did not feel fulfilled.
As a result of losing my loved ones my definition of success has changed a lot, instead of looking at finish lines like #s/job titles/houses/cars/level of public profile I factor in things like whether I get to do work that at least sometimes lets me feel like I made a genuine difference in the lives of other people. Being helpful to my husband/friends/ clients/nieces/nephews/godkids/mentees makes me happy. It is great knowing my experience and hard fought lessons learned can be put to good use as a wife/advisor/coach /consultant/friend/ volunteer/aunt/godmother/Board member.
I am just trying to leave the world better than I found it and be remembered by the people whose lives I touched as a force for good in their lives. After losing my loved ones I learned firsthand no one on their deathbed wishes they worked more/made more money/won more awards. They just want to be with the ones they love most to tell them they mattered. I think of those people often and the roles they played in my life. I want to be remembered for passing along the very best in me to others so their lives are better and happier in some way because I was part of it. That’s pretty much it. I try not to sweat the small stuff, it's just a distraction.
I once read a proverb that said if you lead a meaningful life, you never really die. Instead, you break into 1,000 pieces, each of which stay alive within the people whose lives you've touched along the way. I like that concept and think about who those 1,000 people would be in my life. My family and close friends would certainly make up a large piece of it, but I hope it would also include my mentors and mentees, team colleagues, fellow board members and even strangers who were touched by my articles or speeches, shared a cross-country plane ride conversation with me or somehow crossed paths with me along the way.
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