The Kind of Longevity Women Don’t Talk About Enough
- 2 hours ago
- 3 min read
By Val Blair
When we talk about wellness, the focus is usually on the physical and the mental. Routines. Practices. The newest thing that promises more clarity or balance. All of that matters. But many women know there’s another layer, one we don’t always acknowledge out loud: the emotional.
A few years ago, when my partner passed away, that emotional layer shattered. Not in a poetic way, but in the way where your entire system shuts down. I didn’t just forget things; I couldn’t comprehend them. I had Post-its with drawings of how to use a toothbrush. A fork didn’t register. I would stand in my closet for thirty minutes, not remembering why I had walked in. And somehow, I could still function in certain parts of my life. My mind snapped into place when it needed to, then unraveled the moment I closed the door behind me.
People meant well. “Try a long walk.” “Ask about medication.” “Eat lighter.” “Exercise helps.” None of it was wrong, but none of it touched the truth. My emotional world had collapsed, and everything else was collapsing with it. Eventually, the fallout showed up in my labs, the inflammation, the autoimmune issues, the PTSD diagnosis. But the root wasn’t physical. It was grief.
That experience forced me to understand a different kind of longevity, one that women aren’t always taught to consider. Not the kind measured in lab results or routines, but the kind that keeps you connected to yourself when you’re carrying a lot, trying to stay afloat, and navigating real life at the same time.
Women are masters at pushing through. We show up, care for others, hold things together, multitask, and ignore our own needs for the sake of getting through the day. We forget that our bodies and nervous systems start whispering long before burnout shows up.
My healing didn’t come from anything impressive. It came from extremely small moments that brought me back to myself. One real breath. Journaling without trying to sound wise, just letting the fragments land on the page. Sitting on the floor because the bed felt too far away. Going nights without sleep, then slowly relearning rest. And then one day, a dragonfly followed me to work, catching my attention long enough to make me pause. That pause changed everything.
I began setting alarms to remind myself to eat, drink water, step outside, and breathe for 30 seconds. I wrote myself sticky notes. I let small things count. And piece by piece, clarity returned. Not all at once, but in moments. Moments that reminded me I was still in here.
I don’t think women skip emotional wellness on purpose. I think life gets full, and we default to resilience because we were never taught another way. But longevity for us has to include the emotional. The body, mind, and emotional self move together. When one is carrying too much, the others eventually speak up.
So, I don’t tell anyone what they need to do. I simply invite women to pay attention to what their inner world is whispering. When something feels off, it’s not failure. It’s information.
It’s your life asking you to look, to examine, to care.
Longevity isn’t just about how long we live. For women like us, it’s about how fully we get to live inside the lives we’re creating. And even when it’s hard, we deserve practices that bring us back to ourselves.
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