The Power Found in the Space Between Crisis & Growth
- Oct 2
- 3 min read
By Kristin-Marie Pernicano
I used to think owning my power meant having control over everything. I was wrong.
Two and a half years ago, my life unexpectedly shifted. I discovered I had a rare, aggressive, stage 3 breast cancer related to 9/11. I was forced to become something I'd never prepared for: simultaneously being a full-time patient, practitioner, and professor.
The irony wasn't lost on me. I'd spent 15+ years building operational frameworks for other people's businesses, but I had no systems for my own life when the worst possible crisis hit.
During my first intensive chemo treatment, facing a seven-year journey, I made myself a promise: If I survived, I would finally build the digital ecosystem I'd been talking about forever, but had been too afraid to create.
For ten years, I'd discussed launching the Business Decoded Series but found excuses. Building other companies from concepts to seven-figure brands felt easier than believing in myself. I could transform others into leaders but froze when investing more in myself.
The patterns were clear: I was brilliant at seeing potential in everyone except the person in the mirror.
Cancer didn't make me stronger. It revealed who I already was. Unlike the highly overused platitude, cancer didn't create anything new in me. It stripped away everything I was hiding behind and forced me to stop living small while helping others live large.
I'd always said yes to things that scared me, except fully believing in myself. Goldman Sachs as a liberal arts major? Yes. Teaching despite public speaking fear? Yes. Building others' seven-figure companies? Absolutely. But creating my own platform? Too exposed.
During treatment, I was hustling with energy I didn't have, dragging myself to campus twice a week while surviving chemo, surgeries, reconstruction, immunotherapy, and radiation.
It was my worst nightmare: performing for everyone while my body fought for its life. I was jealous of those who could afford to just be patients.
But in that impossible space, I finally understood the cost of not building systems for myself. How many opportunities had I missed being more comfortable helping others than investing in my own vision?
I wasn't becoming someone new...I was finally stepping into who I'd always been. The revelation wasn't about learning new definitions of power; I'd been teaching those for years. It was about applying them to myself instead of just to others.
I used to think owning my power meant being indispensable to everyone else's success while staying invisible. Now I know it means being willing to be seen, to bet on my vision with the same confidence I've always had in others.
Three Things I Learned About My Own Power
I was saying yes to everything that scared me except betting on myself. I could transform others because the risk felt manageable. But my own goals felt too daunting.
My patterns revealed my power. I was doing effortlessly for others what I resisted doing for myself. The same skills that made me indispensable to their success could make me unstoppable for my own.
I was compounding missed opportunities. Every time I chose others' comfort over my growth, I trained myself to stay small. But betting on myself builds the muscle for greater impact.
Your power isn't something you find. It's something you build, one framework at a time, one moment of choosing growth over comfort at a time.
Advice for my former self? Stop hiding your brilliance behind other people's success. The world doesn't need another person making everyone else look good from the shadows. It needs you- fully visible, unapologetically brilliant, and finally willing to bet on yourself.
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