What are you wearing for your success?
- Oct 7
- 3 min read
By Tiffany Tyler-Garner, PhD
October is the beginning of the final quarter of this year. This month, many will celebrate Halloween, a tradition characterized by the donning of costumes and masks. As we begin this final quarter, it’s a great time to consider what you are wearing for your success.
Are you wearing the things that deliver the greatest impact? Are you wrongfully covering your greatest strengths, in pretense of being someone you are not? Have you taken to covering your countenance with an image that isn’t you?
As you consider what you are wearing, consider what you are wearing emotionally, mentally, and physically. Ask yourself, “Are you showing up authentically? Does anyone really get to see you? Are you presenting as you are, or are you presenting who you believe others need you to be?”
If you don’t have a clear sense of these questions, you may be missing some of your best opportunities and neglecting your needs. Ask yourself:
What am I wearing?
Where am I compelled to wear it?
With whom am I consistently wearing it?
Why am I wearing it?
Are there places in your life where you consistently wear a mask or don a costume? Are there relationships where you are fully costumed emotionally? If you are dressing like it’s Halloween year-round, it is time to ask yourself, “Am I wearing what I need for my success?”
Chief among the things needed for success is your authentic self. While you may pivot your approach, strategy, or tactic, you should be grounded in your values, vision, and strengths. When you are not grounded in these areas, it is difficult to deliver impactfully.
This month, before you dress as someone else or wear someone else’s countenance, be certain that you’re not wearing other people’s emotions, expectations, or experiences. Be sure you aren’t clothed in someone else’s definition of you. Rule out showing up as a poor copy of someone else's masterpiece.
If you find that you have been wearing other people’s stuff, begin the work of extricating yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. First, define your identity and be sure to distinguish your identity from what you do. If you have been wearing the roles that you play and negating what you bring to each role, develop a clear list of qualities that accurately reflect who you are. For example, rather than describing yourself as a mother, wife, sister, or friend, list your innate characteristics. For example, you might describe yourself as optimistic, innovative, or compassionate. Complete the following list without naming a job or role that you play.
I am:
1. __________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________
4. __________________________________________________
5. __________________________________________________
6. __________________________________________________
7. _________________________________________________
8. _________________________________________________
9. _________________________________________________
10. ________________________________________________
Now consider your strengths. List your strengths without describing them in relation to trauma, challenge, or tragedy. Rather than using terms like perseverance, resilience, or survivor, identify several strengths that are not the result of past hurts or issues. You might note your strengths like writing, taking initiative, or effective communication. Complete the following list.
My strengths are:
1. _________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________
5. _________________________________________________
6. _________________________________________________
7. _________________________________________________
8. _________________________________________________
9. _________________________________________________
10. ________________________________________________
Now that you have begun defining yourself and identifying your strengths, consider how it looks, sounds, and feels when you are presenting these attributes. These attributes are foundational to what one wears for success. It’s akin to showing up with your game face on and putting your best foot forward. This month and every day forward, commit to wearing the best parts of yourself for success!
Connect With Tiffany
Instagram: #drtgtyler
Facebook: #drtgtyler
TikTok: @blessed.doctor
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