When A Plane is in Turbulence

9 hours ago
3 min read

By Melissa Mattie

Airplanes have always marked turning points in my life. My story began on a runway- my mother holding me at two weeks old as she boarded a flight that would separate her from my father. The second came years later, when I stood in the BWI airport, abandoned, lost and confused, waiting for a stranger who would take me into foster care.

Those planes weren’t just moments. They were departures- from safety, from family, from everything I thought I knew. The third wasn’t a memory at all- it was a vision. In this vision, I was seated on a plane I hadn’t chosen, flying somewhere I didn’t yet understand- but I wasn’t afraid.

I was curious, protected even. The engines roared, the clouds passed by, and I realized I wasn’t just moving through the sky. I was moving toward the life I was meant to have.It was a glimpse of my future- a quiet promise that even through the storms, I would find my way. That plane carried me not away from my past, but toward who I was becoming. But even in that vision, the truth was clear: you can’t reach a destination without bracing for the storms ahead, and I had more turbulence coming.

And that brings me to the fourth plane entering my life—the one that didn’t roar through the sky, but appeared quietly in a courtroom.

This “airplane” was the judge sitting across from me as I waited for the consequences of my own self-destruction.

Sometimes God whispers. Other times He shakes your entire world until you look up.

So, I looked up and I held my breath, awaiting my consequences for my actions.

Instead of a stern and condemning gavel the judge looked at me calmly, almost gently and said words I’ll never forget for as long as I live.

“When a plane is in turbulence and the oxygen masks fall down, we need to first put the mask on ourselves first before we can help anyone else.”

In that moment, there was no judgment, no punishment-It felt like truth. A lifeline. My whole body shifted—from rigid fear to a kind of trembling relief. It was as if he saw through the layers I’d spent decades hiding behind and spoke directly to the part of me that was suffocating. It wasn’t just advice. It was an answer to a prayer I had been praying for, for years.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding—a breath full of grief, gratitude, and the faintest spark of hope. I thanked him silently for the mercy, for the clarity, for reminding me that I had been out of air for a long, long time.

I walked out of that courtroom and onto my healing journey.

The first thing that I changed was everything.I started being mindful of who has access to my garden and what seeds I planted and tended to. The fear of what people might think of me, kept me in isolation, until I decided to start healing out loud and this broke down all my guilt and shame. Every area the enemy was attacking me in, I found help and built barriers of protection around them.

I realized, I have to be selfish first, I have to put myself first. It isn’t selfishness-its survival, its preparation.

This story doesn't begin on a runway. It begins midair. And for the first time in a long time, I can feel the air fill my lungs again.

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