Winning on Your Own Terms
- May 6
- 2 min read
By Karen Arcilla and Renata Rads
When success stopped meaning the same thing
Karen Arcilla
Success stopped meaning achievement when I realized I was surviving, not living.
In 2021, after losing my mother to COVID-19, I spent months trying to rebuild, convinced that strength looked like productivity. I measured worth by movement. But in the quiet moments, the only thing that steadied me was the small ritual of lighting a candle in her memory.
That flame didn’t fix anything. It just stayed. Watching it, I understood something that changed everything. The candle wasn’t creating light. It was reflecting what was already within me.
That realization lives at the center of Set Forth NY®, a candle studio built around the belief that light does not disappear. It changes form. I no longer chase momentum as proof of success. I measure it by presence, by the ability to stay grounded in what feels honest.
Today, I believe women are redefining success not by how far we go, but by how truthfully we can stand where we are.
Renata Rads
For much of my life, success meant survival. Starting over in a new country, rebuilding after illness, learning to begin again with no clear map. Each time, I believed success meant rising quickly, proving resilience through motion.
But when Set Forth NY was born, I recognized something I had lived but never named. Success doesn’t come from what we rebuild. It comes from how we remain. Light doesn’t vanish in the dark. It stays, waiting to be seen again.
That belief gave me permission to slow down. To see reinvention not as proof of strength, but as evidence of faith.
I stopped performing my endurance and started practicing presence. I let myself pause instead of pushing, even when momentum was expected.
Women measure wins differently today because we’ve learned to protect meaning over visibility. Our victories are internal. A boundary kept. A truth honored. A choice made gently.
My greatest win wasn’t launching a business. It was learning that steadiness is a form of success, that beginning again without apology is power in its quietest form.
Shared Belief
Set Forth NY began with loss but continues through renewal.
We don’t light the way for others.
We light it with them.
In a culture that often equates worth with output, our work reminds us, and hopefully others, that light, like success, doesn’t have to be loud to endure.
Connect With Us
@setforth.ny
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