When I Stopped Dimming Myself
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
By Donna Bond, M.A.
2026 All Rights Reserved
The moment I stopped dimming myself wasn't a single breakthrough—it was recognizing a pattern woven through my entire life.
It started in kindergarten when the teacher boomed: "Donna, try sitting like a lady!" Every child turned to stare at me squatting on my chair with my bloomers exposed. Shame washed over me, and I made an unconscious vow to withhold my voice and power.
That vow renewed at fourteen when I read a love poem aloud declaring my crush. Everyone laughed. Everyone knew. My voice and my heart slammed shut again.
By forty-seven, I was still hiding behind my computer. When a legal threat arrived over a blog post, I immediately complied. The pattern held strong.
Then came the cosmic setup. After publishing an article, my professor emailed about missing attribution. I collapsed into shame—then swung to sacred anger that revealed a violated boundary. For the first time, I saw the pattern: every silencing was a breadcrumb leading toward my gifts.
The real transformation came in October 2023. Called on in a class of 200 people, my mind went blank. But this time, I didn't abandon myself. I stayed present, breathed through the terror, and let my soul lead instead of my ego's need for control.
What helped me claim my power:
Reframing challenges as spiritual curriculum. My struggles were soul assignments designed to activate my gifts. Just as an acorn must crack open to become an oak, my challenges cracked open my protective layers.
Moving from victim to creator. Shifting from "life is happening to me" to "life is happening for me" unlocked the courage required for authentic expression.
Choosing soul over ego. The ego wants safety and control. The soul wants growth and expression. I surrendered the ego's limited agenda and trusted my soul's wisdom.
How women can lead unapologetically:
Follow your breadcrumb trail. Those moments you were shut down in some way reveal what you're here to express.
Stay present with yourself in uncomfortable moments rather than self-abandoning. Understand challenges as meaningful assignments that invite your power to navigate with intention.
Your soul came to express its unique gifts through you. The world needs your song. Sing it especially when you're terrified—that's when you're at the edge of your greatest becoming.
Connect With Donna
ProfessionalCoaching
Email: donna@donnabond.com
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